Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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