id be glad to
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
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