they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
