ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I think I just sharted jello shots
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
