Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
