youre lurking in front of me
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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