Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
