..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
