dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
