I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
