So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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