I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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