I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
