When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
