she peed on how many people?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
