I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
