All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
