that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dignity is for republicans.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
