It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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