Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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