It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
