I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
