Where is the hickey?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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