Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
