if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
