Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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