dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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