She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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