i will never coherently bang her
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
