Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
