Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
