I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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