I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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