Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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