I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Damn victory sex feels great
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
