3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
