why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
