sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
