Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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