the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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