Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
dude. I can hear the air.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
