I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
