Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he puts the penis in happiness.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
