we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
