its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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