Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
