I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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