ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
