I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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