I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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