We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
