So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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